When A Baby Arrives

Wow! What a great day! Your baby has finally arrived and all the folks at the cop shop are happy for you (especially if you remembered the cigars - even the ladies will join in to help celebrate God's gift.) There is a lot of talk about a future police officer and you are saying " No way".
If you are the Mom you wonder about leaving the job. Should you stay home, will the job be too dangerous, will you show less aggression to the bad guys and worry more about your safety? On one hand you think, " I'm already trained and good at what I do so getting another job doesn't make much sense except for the hours." One big worry is, " Will I see his/her first tooth come in? Will I see his/her first step?" Can I teach him/her to walk or will my spouse or baby sitter get all of those thrills?" Will I be too tired when I get home to spend enough time with the baby?" If you are the Dad you have a lot of the same issues. One thing is for sure, there will be a football in the crib, boy or girl!
Will you promise yourself that you will take time EVERY day to listen to your spouse's stories and, maybe just as importantly, will you take the time to sit quietly and give your spouse some quality talk time. If your spouse has been talking "baby talk" all day, he/she needs to talk to an adult. Give up some of your stories and listen to theirs.
Remember the dates you use to go on? Get a sitter and go out to someplace special. The baby will change your life style, but he/she doesn't have to take the romance out of your life.
Take it from Mr. G. God sent us two miracles in 1966 and 1969 and we had many of the same questions. I think my biggest question was, "Will I remember to ask God for directions and not try to do everything myself?" My wife and I, along with all of you know how important your job is. There will be times when you worry about doing the "right thing". Sometimes you will and sometimes you won't. You have wonderful values or you wouldn't be a cop, trust them. As time goes on we will talk about your little gift as they go from development stage to stage. And while you are out there protecting and serving there are a few I hope you pay special attention to, yours and mine. Congratulations on being entrusted with your special gift. Now maybe you will wait for back-up! A special welcome to Little John Weary - way to go Kat & Brett!
I'm still 10-08 so call me anytime you need to talk - 512-282-3158

Take Off Your Cop Face & Relax

When a police officer is at the scene of a major traffic accident, trying to settle a domestic dispute, or questioning a witness they have to wear their “Official Cop Face.” They have to project that strong, authoritative, competent, professional image. When they do this all day long, it is difficult to get out of that role and become a regular person again. Along with the image is a certain amount of emotional recall. In order to maintain their professional posture they have to ignore their “real” feelings and keep them inside. To some extent, they have to stand outside their true self and become an observer. This serves them well at the scene. However, what happens when the layers get pulled back and they become just a regular human being again? How about the other facets that make up their true personality - the spouse, the parent, the friend, the church choir member, and the neighbor?

When officers enter into the role of Joe Citizen they sometimes forget to take off their “Cop Face”. This causes lots of problems, including relationship problems, physiological and psychological problems. In this article, we will examine the role separation problems and the stress that these problems can create. In later editions we will examine the effect stress has on the body and on job performance.

Many police officers have had successful marriages for 20 or more years and have had no more than the average run-of-the-mill physical problems. On the other hand far too many officers have experienced several unsuccessful marriages and experienced chronic problems with digestion, sleeping, circulation, etc. When both groups were questioned about their life styles, it was found that the officers with fewer problems are those who seem to be able to leave their cop persona at work. They had outside interests besides police work and friends who were not “in the business.” To people in other lines of work, this may seem like an easy task. For police officers, however, spending eight hours going from boring patrol to life threatening situations over and over isn’t as easy to forget. Cops tend to believe that the only other people they can trust, the only one who really understands them, is another cop.




They develop a cynical aspect to their behavior, which causes excess stress to themselves as well as to those who love them. One doesn’t have to be involved with the intricacies of law enforcement to understand what it means to be upset, or scared, or saddened by the things people do to one another. Friends and loved ones can talk about the officer’s feelings without going into individual situations. One officer had a best friend who was an educator. They rarely if ever talked about the disgusting details of police work. They did, however, affirm each other as valuable human beings and gave each other permission to vent when necessary. Sometimes, when they were visiting one another’s homes, they would agree not to talk about the specifics of either person’s job. They both had enough outside interests to carry on a decent conversation. There are a couple of things to look for in one’s behavior, which might be an indicator that they are carrying their job home too often. If they have kids, they should ask themselves, do they talk to them or interrogate them? Are they able to relax when they are out in public with their spouse or are they always thinking about controlling the situation? Police officers should have some friends who are in fields other than law enforcement and it is extremely helpful to have a hobby, some outside interest that utilizes their talents and gives them a sense of accomplishment.
The first task then, is for police officers to learn to relax, leave the job at the P.D. Develop outside interests and share them with friends and family.
Remember, law enforcement officers are an extremely important part of our society. The profession needs officers who are focused, calm, clear minded and well rested. It isn’t easy leaving the job at work; however, if they don’t learn to do that they will shorten their over-all time on the job.

See you next time.
Mr. G -- Still 10-08

School's Alternative Programs & The Police Part II

In Part One I talked about the kids we place in alternative schools and how many of them become problems for the police. Of course many kids become problems for the police for many other reasons, however, ask yourself, "Is the gang problem growing with younger and younger members?" "Are today's juvenile offenders more brazen and less afraid and better armed than ever?" If you are not sure, ask a cop or a parole officer. "How is the Texas Juvenile Justice System today?" "Is it Working?"
Officials, take just a moment to look into the records of your cases and see how many display the behavior of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and how many went to schools whose faculty had never had training in this field. How many kids that drop out are Reactive Attachment Disorder kids, kids who were physically or sexually abused at such an early age that they cannot attach themselves emotionally to anyone. "Officers, are they dangerous? Will they shoot at you?" Are Alternative Schools packed with these kids?
Like most of you, I was taught that I follow the orders of any police officer if they say, "Stop!" or "Come Here!" What do many kids do today?
Why am I bringing this up? I believe that many of theses kids are well within the window of reform if we change our alternative programs to be designed to address the above disorders and we teach the way kids learn best, not the way teachers teach best. Even though I am a retired educator, I still substitute in a wonderful middle school every day that I can and I know that the teachers for whom I have been a sub do utilize all major learning styles and many of the skills to which I have eluded in this article. I feel sure that many other schools do the same thing. What concerns me are the schools that don't address these issues. In future articles I will address "At-Risk" kids and why we are woefully lacking in recognizing them and helping them. To all the great cops and teachers out there I salute your dedication and applaud your courage. To the school districts who are only demonstrating in the enzone for public approval and not really addressing the problem I say GET HONEST! And REALLY do what you are supposed to do. Stop building hugh schools and create REAL Alternative Schools. While you are at it, take time to reward the teachers who are gong the extra mile and don't forget to say thanks to the police officers who are working to keep your school and your community at large a safe place to learn. Till next time I remain 10-08 - Mr. G.

How Can Schools Help The Police? Part I

ARE SCHOOLS DEMONSTRATING IN THE END ZONE WITH THEIR ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS?
School districts throughout the state are mandated to have some form of alternative education program available for those students who, for one reason or another, are not having success in the regular education program. Some school districts want an alternative program which looks good but really doesn't help many kids.

This is an example of how school districts sometimes promote a program that looks good but is actually being operated at the expense of many ( demonstrating in the end zone). Many have wonderful sounding names, however, when one looks into them one discovers that this is just a fancy name for a punishment center. Now there are some wonderful alternative schools in the state -- Mary Grimes Educational Center in Carrollton and the KEYS Learning Center in the H.E.B. District to name just two. There are also some real tragedies out there. Many school districts have an alternative program which is totally punitive in nature. This is fine for removing disruptive students from the classroom. This is fine for demonstrating to students that there are consequences for inappropriate behavior. We are removing them from the regular educational environment and that is as it should be, however, it isn't enough if you expect real change. In fact, if a program only starts at the middle school, it is probably too late for most of the kids who need an alternative form of education. I could go on and on, however, that isn't the reason I am writing this article. I do have ideas which I know from personal experience as an educator that really work for kids who don't do well in the traditional setting. I have seen wonderful things happen to kids who seem down and out. I'm not a bleeding heart, I was a public school educator for 27 years and I am reasonably sure that a kid who is ganged up and drugged up isn't going to stand much of a chance for success. I also know that we have one or two generations of emotionally arrested parents who are trying to relate to their kids and their schools from an adolescents point of view. These are the parents who come to school trying to defend their child's inappropriate behavior.

The classroom teachers and, for the most part, the building administrators are really doing the best job they can. However, I really get upset when I see the educational leaders of any community, those who KNOW BETTER, pretend that their alternative program really makes a difference. As educators, WE KNOW how to teach to all types of learning styles, WE KNOW that large schools are detrimental to learning for many kids, WE KNOW that we should intervene at a much younger age if we are really going to make a difference in the lives of many of our kids with problems. WE KNOW that we are only addressing symptoms and not causes. WE KNOW That "At-Risk" students require physical space equal to if not greater than regular students and yet we put alternative schools in old, run down buildings or small classrooms. WE KNOW that kids who take an alternative program frequently are abused in some form and have many unresolved issues with which to contend. We know that these kids have buttons which are easy to push and yet we continue to develop programs ( in alternative schools) which seem to guarantee failure.

How does all this relate to schools helping police? In Part II I hope it will become clear. We haven't even addressed drop-outs, ADD,ADHD, RAD, kids. Cops have to deal with them every day AND they grow up to be a challenge to all of us especially the police. More later. Stay Safe.

Mr. G.

Make A Date With Your Spouse

Steve Glenn,
Former Chief Instructor, Capitol Police Academy, Austin, Texas.
TOGETHER – YET ALONE
THE POLICE SPOUSE MUST….
OFTEN ASSUME THE ROLE OF THEIR ABSENTEE MATE.
LEARN TO FUNCTION INDEPENDENTLY.
LEARN TO COPE WITH BEING ALONE.
SPEND SPECIAL HOLIDAYS ACTING AS BOTH MOM AND DAD.
SOME PROVEN STRATEGIES ( FROM Irene Schreiber – Suffolk Co. Police Wives Assoc. )
MAKE TIME; MAKE DATES TO BE TOGETHER
YOU DID IT BEFORE YOU WERE MARRIED, SO JUST DO IT AGAIN. RESERVE SPECIAL TIMES TO BE TOGETHER. ALSO, SET ASIDE A “FAMILY DAY” EVEN ONCE A MONTH SO THE KIDS CAN SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH BOTH PARENTS.
KEEP BUSY WHEN HE OR SHE IS NOT AVAILABLE
CLUBS, SCHOOL, HOBBIES, EXERCISE, VISITS, ETC. CAN TURN EMPTY HOURS INTO POSITIVE TIME.
TURN OFF THE BEDROOM PHONE AND TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONER.
HELPS TO DROWN OUT DAYTIME SOUNDS WHEN THEY ARE SLEEPING.
ALSO, UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP MAKES THEM A HAPPIER MATE, A BENEFIT TO YOU.
HAVE SATURDAY NIGHT ON WEDNESDAYS.
INVITE FRIENDS FOR SUPPER OR EARLY EVENING COFFEE AND CAKE MIDWEEK SO YOU WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO SOCIALIZE TOGETHER.
KEEP THE LINES OF COMMUNICATION OPEN BUT RESPECT THEIR SOLITUDE.
REMEMBER THAT BOTH BEHAVIORS MAY HELP TO KEEP THE MARRIAGE HEALTHY.
CELEBRATE SPECIAL OCCASIONS ON ALTERNATE DATES.
MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TO COINCIDE WITH HIS SCHEDULE. FRIENDS AND RELATIVES ARE QUITE COOPERATIVE AND SUPPORTIVE.
JOIN A SUPPORT GROUP
SHARING CONCERNS AND IDEAS HELPS REDUCE FEELINGS OF ISOLATION, INCREASES COPING SKILLS, AND CAN PROVIDE COMPANIONSHIP AT NEEDED TIMES.
DON’T SHUT THEM OUT!
WE TEND TO AVOID TALKING ABOUT “THE JOB” BECAUSE WE THINK THEY WON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT WE DO. OR WORSE YET, WE THINK WE ARE PROTECTING THEM FROM THE NASTY PART OF OUR BUSINESS.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GRAPHIC OR SCARE THEM
THEY DON’T NEED THE GRUESOME DETAILS. THEY JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW THE SHIFT AFFECTED YOU EMOTIONALLY. TALK ABOUT THINGS ON A FEELING LEVEL AND NOT ON A GRAPHIC, BLOODY LEVEL. SAVE THAT FOR THE COP SHOP.
REMEMBER------
IF YOU EXCLUDE THEM FROM TALKING ABOUT YOUR JOB, YOU ARE SHUTTING THEM OUT OF HALF OF YOUR LIFE. THE PERSON YOU MARRIED LOVES YOU AND CAN HANDLE MORE THAN YOU THINK THEY CAN.

Travis Co. S.O. Class

Many thanks to the men and women who attended my class on Arrested Emotional Development on the 8Th of Jan. Your participation, excellent questions and cooperation was greatly appreciated. Some of you may have thought some of my comments were a Little upsetting and I apologise for them if they upset you. I didn't always say things the way I wanted them to come out. All-in-all I felt it was a good 8 hours of information and hope the awareness of people who display these characteristics will help you when you deal with them as you go about the business of making our world a better and safer place.
Stay safe
Watch your back
Wait for backup

Mr. G.

Demonstrating in the EndZone

AMERICA, ARE WE DEMONSTRATING IN THE END ZONE TOO MUCH?

The tight end dropped off his blocking assignment and cut across the field in the open. The quarterback threw a perfect pass and the tight end loped into the end zone for a touchdown. Did the end turn to his teammates and acknowledge their blocks? No! Did he turn to the quarterback and acknowledge the perfect pass? No! Did he turn to the sideline and thank the coaches and other players for their input and training? No! He turned to the crowd , raised both hands like a conquering hero as if to say, "Look what I have done!" Well, I have news for him. He hasn't done anything by himself. Without the help of everyone mentioned so far he wouldn't have scored the touchdown. What ever happened to the guys like Earl Campbell who simply ran over to the ref and gave him the ball? What happened to the Earl Campbell's who then ran back to his teammates and patted them on the back saying, " Great job! look what WE have done!" Today, we have players who shake, dance, gesticulate, etc. to the crowd in order to captured the limelight. Sports announcers and newspaper writers defend this behavior and complain about the "NO DEMONSTRATING RULE?" "It is only good fun", they say. Well, I say it is an example of what our society is becoming and it doesn't speak well for America. Basketball players demonstrate when they score a basket. They taunt the other players and wave to the crowd. Remember when that was called POOR SPORTSMANSHIP?Baseball players hit home runs and stride around the bases with hands held high as if to say, "look at me!" Forget coaches, trainers, groundskeepers, ticket agents, equipment managers, teammates, etc. What ever happened to humility? What happened to team spirit? What are our young people learning from these role models? Are we becoming a society that exist for self? Are we becoming a society that no longer recognizes teamwork? Are we becoming a society that looks out for self at the expense of others? How do law enforcement officers deal with people who don't think of others; who don't respect the law? Who do not recognize the fact that consequences always happen when you break the law. In future articles I will talk about the Criminal Justice System, the School Systems, business conglomerates, etc. who are demonstrating to promote self instead of one another. Till then -- Stay safe and wait for back up. Mr. G., Still 10-8