Why Are Some of Our Society's Best People Suffering?

NOTE**

Today's blog will be similar to some others that I have written in the past. The reason for the similarities can be summed up in one word == STRESS!



As much as I hate to say it, more police officers die by their own hand than by the hand of the bad guys. As a counselor, I can fill blog after blog with my "war stories" however, there are some that lend themselves more to today's topic.



I was sitting in my office at the Texas Municipal Police Association (I spent 4 years as their State Director of Education) when my phone rang. When I said, "hello" there was silence and sobbing. Finally a female voice said, " Steve, I heard you speak at a seminar a few weeks ago and I was really moved by your dedication to law enforcement." I replied, " Well, thanks, but is sounds as if you are upset. How can I help you?" What she said next made chills go down my spine. " I am sitting here with my gun in my lap and I just wanted to say goodbye to someone who may be able to use my actions to inform my administration just how stressful they can make this job." It turns out that she was a Lt. in a large department in Texas and had been assigned to the narcotics unit. I won't go into the details of her problem, however, she felt trapped and could not see any way out.



Whenever I am sought out to hear people who need help I always think, " How can these outstanding people fail to turn to their own department for help. This officer expressed herself like many others have when they are contemplating suicide. She said she was JUST TIRED OF BEING TIRED ALL THE TIME. After she told me the entire story I could understand how she could get to such a desperate place. When people turn to me for help (and not enough do) I always ask them three things right off the bat, " Are you going to commit suicide so things will be better?" and "Have you formed a plan?" and finally, " Can you possibly wait 24 hours before you go through with your plan?"



I know I can't do counseling over the phone when the issue is so serious, therefore, I am trying to create a block of time when they will begin to consider alternatives and I am trying to get enough time to get help to them. Committing suicide so you can feel better does not compute. Feeling is only possible when you are alive. Solving problems and being happy is possible if you stay alive and seek help. Making a plan is indeed a red flag. I usually try to get them to tell me some of their plan and I can extend the amount of time I can talk to them. This story has a happy ending. I was able to get her to stay on the phone until I could call someone in her town that would drop everything and go to her (she was 4 hours from me even driving like cops do:)

She agreed to wait until she could talk to my friend and he was able to work with her over a period of time (at a very reasonable rate) and she is now an officer in a different department and calls me every Christmas to let me know she is O.K.



The true sad state of affairs is: Police are #1 in heart disease; Police are number one in hypertension; Police are #1 in diabetes; the life expectancy for most people is around 78-80. The life expectancy for cops is 59. The suicide rate for cops is 2-7 times the national average depending on whose research you read. Divorce in police families is twice the national average. 30% of police officers are alcoholics compared to 10% of other occupations. One veteran, hard nosed cop said to me when I was speaking in Chicago, " I contemplated suicide. I had shut down emotionally to protect my self and I didn't even know I was changing." Fortunately he sought help. The department had Psy. Services, but like a lot of cops they didn't trust the department and felt it would hurt their career. Finally let me tell you what a Ft. Worth officers said, " No one heard me screaming inside. "



Let your fellow officers know they can talk to you or someone. Hell, they can talk to me if they want. I honestly don't mind. When an officer is just getting tired of being tired, for goodness sake, call me and just dump what is on your minds. I'm safe, I won't ask your name and I don't care what time it is. If you want some ideas about dealing with "The Job" call me if you don't feel comfortable talking to people around you.

I don't know your Psy. Services people or your Peer Counseling people, however, I will contact them for you. Take care of yourself, we, the citizens of whatever city your in, need you. Remember watch your back and always wait for backup.

Keep me in mind, I'm always 10-08

Mr. G