Wow! What a great day! Your baby has finally arrived and all the folks at the cop shop are happy for you (especially if you remembered the cigars - even the ladies will join in to help celebrate God's gift.) There is a lot of talk about a future police officer and you are saying " No way".
If you are the Mom you wonder about leaving the job. Should you stay home, will the job be too dangerous, will you show less aggression to the bad guys and worry more about your safety? On one hand you think, " I'm already trained and good at what I do so getting another job doesn't make much sense except for the hours." One big worry is, " Will I see his/her first tooth come in? Will I see his/her first step?" Can I teach him/her to walk or will my spouse or baby sitter get all of those thrills?" Will I be too tired when I get home to spend enough time with the baby?" If you are the Dad you have a lot of the same issues. One thing is for sure, there will be a football in the crib, boy or girl!
Will you promise yourself that you will take time EVERY day to listen to your spouse's stories and, maybe just as importantly, will you take the time to sit quietly and give your spouse some quality talk time. If your spouse has been talking "baby talk" all day, he/she needs to talk to an adult. Give up some of your stories and listen to theirs.
Remember the dates you use to go on? Get a sitter and go out to someplace special. The baby will change your life style, but he/she doesn't have to take the romance out of your life.
Take it from Mr. G. God sent us two miracles in 1966 and 1969 and we had many of the same questions. I think my biggest question was, "Will I remember to ask God for directions and not try to do everything myself?" My wife and I, along with all of you know how important your job is. There will be times when you worry about doing the "right thing". Sometimes you will and sometimes you won't. You have wonderful values or you wouldn't be a cop, trust them. As time goes on we will talk about your little gift as they go from development stage to stage. And while you are out there protecting and serving there are a few I hope you pay special attention to, yours and mine. Congratulations on being entrusted with your special gift. Now maybe you will wait for back-up! A special welcome to Little John Weary - way to go Kat & Brett!
I'm still 10-08 so call me anytime you need to talk - 512-282-3158
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Take Off Your Cop Face & Relax
When a police officer is at the scene of a major traffic accident, trying to settle a domestic dispute, or questioning a witness they have to wear their “Official Cop Face.” They have to project that strong, authoritative, competent, professional image. When they do this all day long, it is difficult to get out of that role and become a regular person again. Along with the image is a certain amount of emotional recall. In order to maintain their professional posture they have to ignore their “real” feelings and keep them inside. To some extent, they have to stand outside their true self and become an observer. This serves them well at the scene. However, what happens when the layers get pulled back and they become just a regular human being again? How about the other facets that make up their true personality - the spouse, the parent, the friend, the church choir member, and the neighbor?
When officers enter into the role of Joe Citizen they sometimes forget to take off their “Cop Face”. This causes lots of problems, including relationship problems, physiological and psychological problems. In this article, we will examine the role separation problems and the stress that these problems can create. In later editions we will examine the effect stress has on the body and on job performance.
Many police officers have had successful marriages for 20 or more years and have had no more than the average run-of-the-mill physical problems. On the other hand far too many officers have experienced several unsuccessful marriages and experienced chronic problems with digestion, sleeping, circulation, etc. When both groups were questioned about their life styles, it was found that the officers with fewer problems are those who seem to be able to leave their cop persona at work. They had outside interests besides police work and friends who were not “in the business.” To people in other lines of work, this may seem like an easy task. For police officers, however, spending eight hours going from boring patrol to life threatening situations over and over isn’t as easy to forget. Cops tend to believe that the only other people they can trust, the only one who really understands them, is another cop.
They develop a cynical aspect to their behavior, which causes excess stress to themselves as well as to those who love them. One doesn’t have to be involved with the intricacies of law enforcement to understand what it means to be upset, or scared, or saddened by the things people do to one another. Friends and loved ones can talk about the officer’s feelings without going into individual situations. One officer had a best friend who was an educator. They rarely if ever talked about the disgusting details of police work. They did, however, affirm each other as valuable human beings and gave each other permission to vent when necessary. Sometimes, when they were visiting one another’s homes, they would agree not to talk about the specifics of either person’s job. They both had enough outside interests to carry on a decent conversation. There are a couple of things to look for in one’s behavior, which might be an indicator that they are carrying their job home too often. If they have kids, they should ask themselves, do they talk to them or interrogate them? Are they able to relax when they are out in public with their spouse or are they always thinking about controlling the situation? Police officers should have some friends who are in fields other than law enforcement and it is extremely helpful to have a hobby, some outside interest that utilizes their talents and gives them a sense of accomplishment.
The first task then, is for police officers to learn to relax, leave the job at the P.D. Develop outside interests and share them with friends and family.
Remember, law enforcement officers are an extremely important part of our society. The profession needs officers who are focused, calm, clear minded and well rested. It isn’t easy leaving the job at work; however, if they don’t learn to do that they will shorten their over-all time on the job.
See you next time.
Mr. G -- Still 10-08
When officers enter into the role of Joe Citizen they sometimes forget to take off their “Cop Face”. This causes lots of problems, including relationship problems, physiological and psychological problems. In this article, we will examine the role separation problems and the stress that these problems can create. In later editions we will examine the effect stress has on the body and on job performance.
Many police officers have had successful marriages for 20 or more years and have had no more than the average run-of-the-mill physical problems. On the other hand far too many officers have experienced several unsuccessful marriages and experienced chronic problems with digestion, sleeping, circulation, etc. When both groups were questioned about their life styles, it was found that the officers with fewer problems are those who seem to be able to leave their cop persona at work. They had outside interests besides police work and friends who were not “in the business.” To people in other lines of work, this may seem like an easy task. For police officers, however, spending eight hours going from boring patrol to life threatening situations over and over isn’t as easy to forget. Cops tend to believe that the only other people they can trust, the only one who really understands them, is another cop.
They develop a cynical aspect to their behavior, which causes excess stress to themselves as well as to those who love them. One doesn’t have to be involved with the intricacies of law enforcement to understand what it means to be upset, or scared, or saddened by the things people do to one another. Friends and loved ones can talk about the officer’s feelings without going into individual situations. One officer had a best friend who was an educator. They rarely if ever talked about the disgusting details of police work. They did, however, affirm each other as valuable human beings and gave each other permission to vent when necessary. Sometimes, when they were visiting one another’s homes, they would agree not to talk about the specifics of either person’s job. They both had enough outside interests to carry on a decent conversation. There are a couple of things to look for in one’s behavior, which might be an indicator that they are carrying their job home too often. If they have kids, they should ask themselves, do they talk to them or interrogate them? Are they able to relax when they are out in public with their spouse or are they always thinking about controlling the situation? Police officers should have some friends who are in fields other than law enforcement and it is extremely helpful to have a hobby, some outside interest that utilizes their talents and gives them a sense of accomplishment.
The first task then, is for police officers to learn to relax, leave the job at the P.D. Develop outside interests and share them with friends and family.
Remember, law enforcement officers are an extremely important part of our society. The profession needs officers who are focused, calm, clear minded and well rested. It isn’t easy leaving the job at work; however, if they don’t learn to do that they will shorten their over-all time on the job.
See you next time.
Mr. G -- Still 10-08
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